Kate Motaung

In elementary school, you could walk up to someone on the playground and ask, “Do you want to play?” and by the time the bell rang, you’d have a new friend. In college, proximity did most of the work for you. Because you lived, went to school with, and sometimes worked alongside people on campus, you naturally grew into friendship with them without much effort. But there comes a point in adulthood when you realize that friendships don’t come as automatically [...]

Guilt and shame have been a part of the human experience from the dawn of man. After both Eve and Adam ate the fruit in the Garden of Eden, one of the first emotions they felt was described as what we know today as shame. “Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.” (Genesis 3:7, NIV) Because sin entered the world, [...]

Understanding a mother with borderline personality disorder can be immensely perplexing due to her unpredictable behavior and lack of consistency. She lacks the emotional tools to provide stable parenting, and whereas to other people, she may seem like a kind, likable, normal person, at home, it is a different story. At home, the borderline mother tends to be a whirlwind of unpredictable reactions, unable to provide solid emotional rapport to her child. One moment she may be loving, empathetic, [...]

What are cognitive distortions? Everyone uses cognitive distortions at some time while trying to make sense of life events. Cognitive distortions are known by other names such as faulty thinking, mistaken beliefs, core beliefs, and thinking errors. Cognitive distortions are a person’s misinterpreted perceptions that support their personal belief system about themselves, others, and the world around them. In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), a personal belief system is a deep-lying acceptance of ideas that are usually rooted in a [...]

For many women, the signs of bipolar disorder have never been explained to them in a relatable way. From the outside, your life may look steady; you go to work, care for your family, and keep up with responsibilities. Yet, inside you might feel like you’re living two different lives. One version of you is full of energy, ideas, and confidence. The other version struggles with sadness, fatigue, and doubt. Moving between these extremes leaves you wondering why things [...]

Are you codependent? If you have any of the following traits, you may be struggling with codependency. Excessively relying on and prioritizing the needs, emotions, and well-being of others over your own Feeling the need to “fix” others Enabling other people, even when they do hurtful things to you or others you care about Depending on others too much for your own emotional needs Being afraid to stand up for yourself Inability to set healthy boundaries with others Having [...]

Knowing how to create healthy boundaries is as important as recognizing the need for those boundaries in the first place. Boundaries are the foundation of healthy relationships that guarantee both parties’ needs, wants, and safety are ensured. They provide rules of order and a blueprint that the relationship should be built from. Galatians 6:5 (NIV) says, “For each one should carry their own load.” Boundaries establish respect, care, and security, as well as prevent dependency, unfair dynamics, and toxicity. [...]

Life is full of adverse circumstances that can cause a person to feel anything from minor stress to crippling panic. Adverse circumstances can be related to finances, social interactions, work, marriage/family dynamics, life transitions, grief/loss, or health issues, to name a few. Stress Inoculation Training (SIT) is a practical type of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy created by psychologist Donald Meichenbaum. The purpose of Stress Inoculation Training is to help a client build resilience during adversity by learning coping skills to manage [...]

Have you concluded that you are in an abusive relationship? Below are the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder in the DSM 5. This is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th edition) that psychiatrists and therapists use to diagnose mental illness. Traits of Narcissism Look at the criteria below and see if you are currently with someone who has these traits. Grandiose sense of self-importance. Exaggerates achievements and talents; expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate [...]

Family rifts often arise from unconscious causes, creating deep divides that can last for years. Even minor disagreements may escalate due to miscommunication or differing values. For instance, political views have torn apart families, and such conflicts have become more common than one might think. Some studies show that over 25% of adults experience family estrangement in the US alone. Family rifts can often arise even when the warring parties initially had no intention to hurt or disappoint the [...]

How well do you know yourself, your personality? Do you understand how you naturally react when it comes to emotions? Do you lean toward suppressing your emotions or letting them out in ineffective ways? Our thoughts determine the ongoing course of our lives. We all know the difference between positive and negative thinking. Normally, our thinking is more negative, human-centered, and egocentric. Positive thoughts are by far first-rate compared to negative thoughts; however, how does positive thinking relate to [...]

When we go through difficult times, we can deal with that in either a healthy way or an unhealthy way. For instance, if you’re feeling slightly anxious, you can decide to go for a walk or talk with a friend. On the other hand, you could also decide to use food to soothe or comfort yourself, which can feel good in the moment, but it has many negative consequences down the line. Similarly, if you’re struggling with emotional, social, or [...]