Kate Motaung

Have you concluded that you are in an abusive relationship? Below are the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder in the DSM 5. This is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th edition) that psychiatrists and therapists use to diagnose mental illness. Traits of Narcissism Look at the criteria below and see if you are currently with someone who has these traits. Grandiose sense of self-importance. Exaggerates achievements and talents; expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate [...]

Family rifts often arise from unconscious causes, creating deep divides that can last for years. Even minor disagreements may escalate due to miscommunication or differing values. For instance, political views have torn apart families, and such conflicts have become more common than one might think. Some studies show that over 25% of adults experience family estrangement in the US alone. Family rifts can often arise even when the warring parties initially had no intention to hurt or disappoint the [...]

How well do you know yourself, your personality? Do you understand how you naturally react when it comes to emotions? Do you lean toward suppressing your emotions or letting them out in ineffective ways? Our thoughts determine the ongoing course of our lives. We all know the difference between positive and negative thinking. Normally, our thinking is more negative, human-centered, and egocentric. Positive thoughts are by far first-rate compared to negative thoughts; however, how does positive thinking relate to [...]

When we go through difficult times, we can deal with that in either a healthy way or an unhealthy way. For instance, if you’re feeling slightly anxious, you can decide to go for a walk or talk with a friend. On the other hand, you could also decide to use food to soothe or comfort yourself, which can feel good in the moment, but it has many negative consequences down the line. Similarly, if you’re struggling with emotional, social, or [...]

Grief is a fundamental part of our lives and affects us in ways that can rock us to our core. We tend to view grief as a reaction to death or loss of relationships. However, grief is far more pervasive than that and affects every major and even minor change in our lives. Yes, we grieve the deaths of friends and family, people we know or look up to, our pets, and the loss of relationships. We also grieve [...]

The ability to regulate our emotions and control our impulsiveness is key to our mental health and overall well-being. Our emotional regulation, vulnerabilities, and impulsiveness are affected by our biology (developmental and physical), upbringing/childhood, social environment – both supportive or unsupportive, culture, health – physical and mental, life events, stressors, self-care, personality disorders, trauma, and grief. Some of us are born more emotionally vulnerable and impulsive than others, and we all may respond differently to the same situations. When our [...]

One of the more challenging ideas to understand in the Christian faith is the concept of freedom. The apostle Paul wrote that, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1, NIV) This freedom is from sin and from the behaviors, attitudes, and mindsets rooted in it. Codependent behavior is one set of patterns that many people need freedom from. [...]

Shame is one of the greatest weapons that the Devil uses to keep us from feeling worthy and achieving God’s plans for our lives. John 10:10 (NKJV) says, “The thief does not come except to steal, kill, and destroy.” Satan lies to us using shame as one of his most devastating tools to keep us stuck in toxicity, bad behaviors, addiction, and a life filled with regret. Shame Brings Condemnation Shame attacks our identity and is a blackmailer, forcing [...]

Life comes with its fair share of challenges, and every couple will face these in their relationship. In the vows that a couple makes as they commit to each other, there is usually a line about remaining steadfast through the lean seasons, when things get hard, “in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer”. Such a vow is a huge undertaking, but it’s a sober reminder that challenges will come, and they’ll be hard to weather. One [...]

My Experience With Trauma I remember it like it was yesterday. I knew I had bad dreams and had trouble sleeping. But it was my “normal,” and as I grew into adulthood, I thought nothing of it. It was the fall of 1991, just days after I was married. We spent part of our honeymoon visiting her family in Nebraska. We were staying in a guest room at her parents’ house on an air mattress. We drifted off to [...]

Have you ever truly loved someone and given of yourself for their well-being? It might have been Plato or Shakespeare who said something about love being a sort of madness, and that has a ring of truth to it. Love, however, doesn’t have to be self-destructive or uninformed. It certainly doesn’t need to be codependent to qualify as love, and that’s one reason why knowing the signs of codependency can help you show love well. Several signs of codependency will [...]

Infidelity can turn your world upside down, causing you to feel shocked, angry, wounded, betrayed, and confused. You may find yourself wondering if and how you can possibly heal from this overwhelmingly devastating experience. If so, take heart. As shattering as the betrayal of infidelity can feel, it does not have to mark the end of your relationship. With hard work and dedication, trust and intimacy can be restored. It may, however, be a long and painful process that involves [...]