What Does it Mean to Age Successfully? Defining What Matters Most in a Society Scared of Getting Older

Our culture is obsessed with getting older. More accurately, we are obsessed with not aging. We are laser-focused on looking younger longer. We deny wrinkles, fight back against loose skin, and refuse to let white hair show.

Ageism rears its ugly head in movies, where the leading man is in his fifties and his love interest is twenty years younger. Skincare is a multi-billion-dollar industry. Tips and tricks to stay looking young are prolific on the internet.

But the reality is we all age. Every year the clock ticks and our bodies change. We are in a fight against time that we will never win. No matter how many face creams we use, how much we put lotion on our legs, or how much hair dye we put on our heads, we keep getting older.

Once we accept that getting older does happen, the next question becomes – what does it mean to age successfully? Successful aging will vary from person to person. It is important to start by asking: “Out of what I can control, what matters most to me?”

Identify what matters most when getting older.

For some, this will be relationally based. Successful aging means spending time with family and grandkids, meeting friends for lunch, and being active socially. For others, it will be skills based. You want to stay independent for as long as you can. You need to be able to drive, live alone, and maintain a standard of autonomy.

Maybe it’s mental health that matters. If you fear dementia, then keeping your mind active will be how you define successful aging. Whatever the barometer, once it is defined the question becomes “What can you do today that will have the greatest impact tomorrow?” The keys to successfully getting older start with what we do today.

Tips for social goals.

If spending time with friends and family is the most important goal, how can you do that now? Which social groups can you join, or routines can you establish with family and friends?

It can be harder to make friends as we age. Once the kids are out of the nest, it becomes harder to make new friends if we do not take some intentional measures. So, where can you go to meet people? Church, social clubs, and meetups are good ideas. Maybe it is taking on a new hobby with others, such as dance classes, crochet circles, or painting groups.

Socializing.

Being social has been shown to keep us younger. It keeps us sharp, active, and connected. Too many become isolated as they get older. Friends pass away, the family gets busy, and we find ourselves living alone. That is why a huge key to successful aging is making friends when we are younger.

The right group.

Even if the kids are still around, find a group that is just for you. Once a week have dinner with your friends. Join a book club or a hiking group. Find something to do that you enjoy. It has never been easier to find groups to join. Make it a priority to do so now.

Establish rhythms for meeting with your family.

Maybe it’s Saturday morning donuts with your grandson or Thursday night dinner with all of your kids. Set those rituals now and, once they become ingrained habits and recurring events on their calendar, it will be easier to keep those traditions even as we are getting older and schedules shift.

Start a yearly family vacation.

It doesn’t have to be somewhere exotic or expensive. Get everyone together at a vacation rental the next town over. Block off a long weekend just for the family. Soon this will become a tradition before everyone gets too old and other activities start to take people’s time.

It is too easy to lose touch with people. If we do not build habits for social engagement, we will find it harder to do so as we age. Get in the habit now of reaching out, scheduling times to meet, and engaging in new things to help you stay connected and in touch with those you love most.

Tips for independent goals when getting older.

One thing we fear about getting older is losing our independence. One of the signs we often cannot ignore as we age is our inability to do what we did before. We do not hear or see as well. We cannot lift as much or are not as flexible. Our muscles grow weaker or tighter. We cannot reach as high or enjoy the same sports we once did. We find it hard to pick up our grandkids. Getting on the floor takes more work. We get tired more easily and our brains are not as sharp.

These symptoms are inevitable as we age. Even the most ardent gym buff will see his or her performance decline. Add into the mix our propensity to sit too long in our day jobs and it is a recipe for trouble as we age.

Health concerns are real. Our hearts, lungs, brains, and joints all have the potential to malfunction as we get older. Too often it takes a health scare for many of us to start taking our physical health seriously.

But our physical well-being plays directly into our ability to stay independent. We want to be able to drive, cook for ourselves, and be active in some way. It takes a lot of humility to transition to hearing aids, walkers, or breathing machines, or to accept we need hips or knees replaced.

What can we do now to stay independent as we age?

We all know the advice to move daily and yet how many of us do it? If you are not already working out, here are some simple things you can do:

• Park further away so you walk more into stores, work, etc.
• Take the stairs versus the elevator
• Use a bathroom further away
• Ask to meet a friend at a park or open space and walk while you chat
• Walk to the hair salon, grocery store, etc. if within a reasonable distance
• Join a water aerobics class – this is a great way to keep your joints healthy in a low-impact environment

If you work at home, here are some ways to incorporate movement into your day:

• Set a timer for fifty minutes, then get up and drink a glass of water and walk around the house for five to ten minutes
• Walk around the block at lunch and, if possible, once in the morning and afternoon
• Buy a standing desk and stand for part of the day
• Walk around the house during meetings (if you can be off-camera)
• Move your body when you are done with your workday. Too many of us go from the desk to the sofa. Go for a bike ride, walk around your neighborhood, or get on the treadmill. Do not simply change seats once your workday is done.

Movement.

Moving when we are younger is vital for increased mobility as we age. It doesn’t matter what age you are now; you can start moving. It can be as simple as intentionally walking for half an hour a day.

Maybe try a new sport, such as swimming, water aerobics, bike riding, pickleball, golf, yoga, rock climbing, rowing, kayaking, hiking, cross-country skiing, or dancing. Even if you have never done it – try it! You might find a new passion. Doing something new also helps keep our minds active.

Strength training.

Don’t just focus on cardio – strength training is important too. There is no need for you to bulk up, but a huge part of successful aging is keeping our muscles healthy. A 30-minute daily walk is important, but so are basic stretches and workouts that focus on keeping our muscles strong and active.

Seek out a personal trainer.

Who works with older adults. Basic movements can keep us independent. Pay attention to how you move during the day. Most of it is reaching and turning. Even if you cannot get in a solid cardio workout, it is possible to just focus on basic movements for mobility.

A specialized personal trainer should be able to give you some simple exercises focused on those areas. There are also classes in a pool that focus on the same things. Balance and basic movements are areas of focus as we age.

Tips for mental goals.

We all forget things. As we age, we forget the names of friends or businesses, where we put our keys. That is common. As information via technology becomes more and more accessible, we are using our brains to remember things less and less.

But for some, the fear of dementia is real. Science is making some breakthroughs and medication has been developed to slow the process. While there is no cure, and some are genetically predisposed to memory issues, there are things we can be doing to keep our brains as healthy as we can.

Get away from your phone.

Studies suggest that taking a 20-minute walk in the park without our phones can do a lot for our brains. We are over-stimulated and our brains need a break. Take a walk in a park or open space, with your phone in the car, and just take in what’s around you.

Take a different route home.

We get stuck on auto-pilot. Challenge your brain by taking a different course. You know the beginning and end points, so get between them in a new way.

Memorize directions.

We are far too dependent on GPS. Next time you have to go to a new doctor’s office or restaurant or you are in a new city, try getting around without GPS. Memorize the streets you need, figure out landmarks, and make it without a voice telling you when to turn.

Get off the screen.

We go from computer screens to our phones to TVs. Not only are screens hurting our eyesight, but they are also hurting our brains. Do a crossword, cross-stitch, or crochet, read a physical book, or work out without a distraction. Do something that gives your eyes and brain a break from the screen.

If you can go outside, that’s even better. Try gardening or going for a walk around the block. Leave your phone at home. Nothing is going to happen if someone has to wait 10 minutes for an answer.

Other things to try.

You can try meditation, sleep, connecting with friends without your phones, exercise, learning a new language, playing board games, and eating well. All of these small yet mindful decisions can keep our brains healthy as we age.

Our brains are remarkable. We can forge new pathways and keep learning until we are older. But we must get off our screens and engage the world around us again. Technology is great until it teaches us to exist on autopilot. We need to fight this convenience for the sake of our brain health.

Start today.

The key is to identify how successful aging looks to you and to set yourself up for success starting today. You are never too old to start something new and establish healthy habits. A Christian counselor can help you identify how you want to age. Give us a call today to set up a planning appointment with a qualified counselor.