Relationship Issues Archives | Page 2 of 2 | Stone Oak Christian Counseling

Why Do People Have Affairs? 6 Possible Reasons

Why Do People Have Affairs? 6 Possible Reasons

By Kate Motaung|August 22nd, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Why do people have affairs? Infidelity in committed relationships is an all-too-common reality couples have to deal with. Though couples set clear boundaries for their relationship, and they make promises to one another to be faithful, infidelity affects a significant portion of relationships. The question then arises – why did it happen? Was there something missing from the primary relationship? Was it simply a case of lust? In short, why do people have affairs? Knowing the answer can help a couple address the issues in their relationship and help them to consider their next steps. Why do people have affairs? Each person who has an affair, whether it is a physical affair that includes sexual intimacy, or an emotional affair that can occur without any physical contact, has reasons for it. They may be fully conscious of those reasons, or they may find themselves being driven by strong impulses they may struggle to articulate. Whatever the reasons may be, however, infidelity is never justified. It is a serious and painful breach of covenant that can destroy a relationship. However, understanding the reasons why people have affairs can provide a couple decide how to proceed. One might be willing to forgive infidelity if it occurred for certain reasons but may struggle to reconcile themselves to infidelity that occurs for certain other reasons. Whether you want to rebuild the relationship may hinge on why the infidelity occurred. Some of the reasons why people have affairs include the following: Hurt people hurt people. Sometimes, an affair is a response to a wrong they’ve suffered within the relationship, such as infidelity. One spouse may have an affair out of anger and a desire for revenge. To find a way out of the relationship. If a person feels stuck in a relationship, one way [...]

8 Practical Ways You Can Invest in Your Marriage

By Kate Motaung|July 18th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Marriage is complex, requiring many moving parts to work together in tandem. Sometimes those things are all aligned, moving forward without any issues. Other times, things can feel uncoordinated, causing struggle or uncertainty. Whether your marriage is riding along smoothly, or you feel a little out of whack, investing in your marriage can help. Having a healthy, strong marriage does not happen on its own. You must take active steps toward strengthening and fortifying your marriage in every season. During the times when your marriage is struggling and things feel off, investing in your marriage can help get you back in sync, increasing connection. When your marriage feels like it is rolling along smoothly, investing in your marriage can make that stronger, so that when something comes up, you can handle it together. There will be bumps in the road in marriage. Marriage is one of the most intimate relationships in your life. This is not necessarily sexual, although that is part of it. The intimacy of marriage is multifaceted. There is a depth of friendship, understanding, and working together that marriage requires. No matter how much work you put in, there will be challenges. This is part of living in a relationship with another person. These challenges do not need to be scary. Instead, you can do things together that help you face them as a couple, developing a deeper relationship along the way. Choose to do this together. When you and your spouse said your vows, it was a time of agreement between the two of you. Whether you stood before friends and family or it was just the two of you before an officiant, you declared your joint commitment to walking through life together. As you consider investing in your marriage, it is helpful to start [...]

7 Topics to Discuss in Premarital Counseling

By Caitlin Mallery|July 3rd, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The proposal was accepted, the wedding plans are well in hand, and you two are making a great choice to sit down with someone for some premarital counseling. Whether you have been together for a few months or a few years at this point, you may feel that you have made a good start to your relationship. You may even think, “We don’t really need this.” Perhaps it’s a requirement by the pastor in order to use a particular church. Perhaps you were encouraged by your parents to get some counseling as a couple. You might be wondering what you will talk about in a counseling session. Or you might be afraid of what sort of things will come up in the session. What if the rose-colored glasses fail you? Will you still be in love? Premarital counseling can provide a strong foundation for your marriage. Let’s look at some of the topics that may come up. Love languages and premarital counseling The love language tests are fairly common and have to do with how a person receives and shows love. Understanding both your own and your partner’s love language can provide a helpful context for communication. The five commonly used love languages are physical touch, words of affirmation, gift-giving, quality time, and acts of service. Knowing how you want to be shown love and how you like to show love is a huge source of conflict between couples. A husband/boyfriend is great at gift-giving, but the wife/girlfriend really just wants to hold hands and hug. One partner finds acts of service valuable while the other would prefer to spend time with you. Have a lot of conversations together about what makes you feel loved, and how you like to show love. Style of conflict This may seem like [...]