Relationship Help Through Christian Couples Counseling

Relationships can be a mix of blessings and challenges. Sometimes, depending on the season you’re in, your relationships with others could be spaces of nurture, joy, and fulfillment. Alternatively, they could be challenging, a source of deep stress, or perhaps just unpleasant to be in. Romantic relationships can be like this, too. If you do find yourself struggling, Christian couples counseling is available to help you through it.

How Christian Couples Counseling Works

Christian couples counseling is a form of counseling conducted by a trained and licensed counselor. The counselor themselves is typically a Christian, and the principles that they apply will tap into the various spiritual resources that flow from the Christian faith.

That includes Scripture, prayer, meditation, and drawing on the wisdom of Christian writers who have been reflecting on what Scripture teaches about relationships for centuries.

A Christian counselor will use these resources as well as various evidence-based therapeutic techniques like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), emotionally focused therapy, behavioral therapy, attachment therapy, solution-focused brief therapy, and the Gottman method. These various techniques can be applied where appropriate, and they are effective tools in helping the couple overcome their challenges.

Christian couples counseling isn’t only for people who identify as Christians. Just as Christians can visit counselors who aren’t Christian or who don’t use techniques that are rooted in Christian belief and practice, a non-Christian couple can see a Christian couple’s counselor and benefit immensely from it. The counselor will respect your beliefs and values, and they won’t impose their views on you.

Most counselors will allow you to have a trial session. You can use this session to see if the counselor’s approach is a good fit for you. You can discuss your goals, expectations, concerns, and values beforehand with the counselor. This will help set you at ease and get you all on the same page.

Once you decide on a counselor, they will work with you to understand you as a couple and learn your story. Your counselor will work with you to create a treatment plan that will help address your concerns. They will create a safe space for you to talk about yourselves and your concerns, they will ask questions to prompt reflection and help you begin the journey toward a healthier relationship.

Depending on the issue that brought you to counseling, counseling sessions are typically around an hour, and you’ll meet with your counselor once a week for several weeks. Your counselor might give you exercises to do at home to practice what you’ve learned during your sessions and to help you make certain behaviors like active listening, staying calm, and appreciating each other part of how you relate to one another.

Issues Addressed in Couples Counseling

Couples counseling addresses a lot of different issues. One of the things that most couples find when they go for counseling is that they aren’t the only ones who’ve been dealing with certain issues. Each couple is unique, and the specifics of the situation will differ, but the underlying root causes of issues are the same. People are people, and we are driven by similar instincts, needs, and desires.

Help is available to address a variety of issues through Christian couples counseling. Some of these issues might specifically be tied to questions of faith, but most relate to concerns most couples face regardless of their faith commitment.

Some of the common issues that are addressed in couples counseling include the following:

⁠Rebuilding and strengthening the relationship

This includes attempts to rekindle romance, improve communication and emotional intimacy, and strengthen the couple’s bond.

Communication and conflict resolution

A couple may have issues with their communication, including having mismatched communication styles. This can often lead to conflict. Counseling can help the couple learn effective communication skills, adopt conflict-resolution strategies, and navigate disagreements in a way that honors the Lord and one another.

Sex and physical intimacy

Counseling can help a couple navigate problems in their intimacy by understanding God’s design for sex and marriage and managing expectations for sexual intimacy.

Infidelity

One concern couples may face is infidelity and the need to deal with the aftermath, whether it was an emotional or physical affair. Shattered trust needs to be rebuilt, and infidelity can create low self-esteem. Through counseling, a couple can begin working toward healing and wholeness.

Financial disagreements

Money is often a source of conflict in relationships. Couples counseling can help them manage their financial differences, develop skills like creating and sticking to a budget, and learn to prioritize making financial decisions together.

Parenting concerns

Couples can have various concerns regarding children including when and whether to have them, struggles with infertility, adoption struggles, co-parenting concerns where a couple is separated, conflicting parenting styles and discipline of the children, and navigating the challenges of blended families.

Spiritual differences

Counseling can also address differences in the couples’ faith commitment and beliefs, practices, or levels of commitment, especially where these cause conflict.

A couple can also learn to support each other’s spiritual growth and faith practice. Counseling can help the couple nurture a shared spiritual vision and deeper connection with God and learn to practice spiritual disciplines together.

Trust and forgiveness

As a couple spends time together, they add to a catalog of shared experiences. Some of these are positive, while others aren’t. Through couples counseling, a couple can build trust, learn to forgive each other, and work through past hurts and resentments that may or may not have been aired previously.

In-law and extended family issues

One issue that many couples face is about boundaries and family members. Whether it’s about where to spend vacations, unwanted parenting or relationship advice, or relatives dropping in unannounced, counseling can help a couple manage their relationships with in-laws and extended family members. The couple can also learn to set healthy boundaries.

Managing expectations

Couples will often find as time passes that they need to learn to let go of unrealistic expectations of one another and grow to appreciate each other’s strengths and offer support in areas of weakness.

Health issues and transitions

Couples counseling can help a couple better under one another’s struggles and provide meaningful support for any anxiety, depression, grief, or past trauma that may be impacting the relationship. Counseling can also help a couple navigate life changes like retirement, job loss, or facing an empty nest together.

⁠Roles and responsibilities

Couples counseling can help a couple navigate their stated or assumed expectations about household responsibilities, career goals, and roles within the family. These can be a significant source of conflict, especially where expectations aren’t communicated and are left unmet.

Premarital counseling

For unmarried couples, they can find help through premarital counseling that helps them prepare for marriage. By exploring expectations, values, and goals, the couple can develop a strong foundation for a healthy marriage.

The Benefits of Christian Couples Counseling

Christian couples counseling will help a couple develop a deeper appreciation of one another, nurture their communication skills so that there’s less conflict, and learn how to handle conflict so they honor each other even when they’re angry. Couples counseling helps a couple heal from past hurts, and it allows them to deepen their relationship, strengthening it for challenges that will likely come in future.

Another benefit of Christian couples counseling is that it helps the couple develop a distinctly Christian vision of what a relationship is supposed to be. Not only will a couple grow in knowing the role of humble and loving mutual service, but they will also be connected to the resources that help them perform such service. Pointing the couple to Jesus Christ and His example will help them, through the Spirit, know how to serve each other well.

Finding Help

Whether you’re in a good season or a season of struggle right now, Christian couples counseling can help strengthen your relationship. You can become a more effective and loving couple, dealing with issues promptly and treating each other with dignity and respect.

You can reach out and speak with a counselor and work with them to find healing and wholeness in your relationship. Call our office today for more information.