Questions to Help You Introduce Counseling to Your Teen

The idea of counseling may be new for your teen. While you may have been thinking about the benefits and researching counselors for some time, your teen may not know much about it. Instead of springing the idea on your teen, you can begin by having some natural conversations and asking him or her questions about his or her thoughts regarding counseling, mental health, and overall mental wellness.

Questions to ask your teen about counseling.

Sometimes teens are resistant to new ideas, especially from their parents. It can be beneficial to start slow when it comes to the idea of counseling. Instead of jumping into it or barraging him or her with questions, consider how to have natural conversations with your teen. Try to incorporate these questions and ideas for a few weeks.

Question 1: Do you know anything about counseling?

Begin by asking your child what they know about counseling. This does not need to be a deep, personal conversation. It can be general. Try to make this part of a natural conversation while doing something else. You can talk about something like this over dinner, in the car, or while doing chores. If you have trouble bringing it up, you can use someone in pop culture who has pursued counseling as a starting place.

Remember, everyone’s ideas and perceptions about counseling are different. Teens are in a particularly unique stage of life where their ideas are still forming. How you interact with your teen can make a big difference.

Question 2: Do you know any friends who go to counseling?

First, it is important to be clear that you are not asking who goes to counseling. This is a general question to see if counseling is even on your teen’s radar in his or her friendships.

Sometimes teens are more willing to talk with their friends about things like this than they are with their parents. It can be helpful to get an idea of whether this is a topic they’ve talked about with friends.

Teenagers sometimes share things with each other that you wouldn’t expect. It may be from a passing comment in a conversation, but if your teen has heard a friend or friends go to counseling, it may feel less foreign for him or her to think about counseling for himself or herself.

Question 3: Do you think you’d feel more comfortable talking to a man or a woman?

This is an important conversation to have because some teens feel strongly one way or the other. There is no right or wrong answer, and your teen doesn’t even need to give a reason why. This is simply a question on which some people have an opinion. If your teen has a preference, keep that in mind when looking for a potential counselor.

Try not to read into your teen’s answer. Sometimes it’s just a gut instinct or general comfort level. Asking your teen this question can help you understand how he or she will be most receptive.

Question 4: Did you know I went to counseling?

If you have personal experience going to counseling, it can be helpful for your teen to know that you’ve been through this. Some words of caution on this topic:

• Teens typically don’t want to know the long story from their parents.
• They don’t want your experience to become their experience.
• Teens want their own experience to be unique for them.
• They are looking for assurance.
• They may choose something different than you would.

Consider offering the simple insight that you have gone to counseling. Just that fact could be the thing that makes them feel more comfortable going.

If you have not ever gone to counseling, you could still talk to them about this. There are some things you can mention that will be helpful such as:

• You are considering counseling for yourself.
• You think it would have been helpful for you to talk to someone when you were younger or when you went through something challenging.
• You can recognize that sometimes it is hard to talk to parents, but a counselor is a confidential, unbiased option.

Question 5: Would you like to go to counseling together?

Sometimes teens are worried about trying something new on their own. This stage of life has quite a bit of change and they often don’t want to appear apprehensive about anything to do with exerting their independence. Offering to go with your teen can be helpful.

If your teen still seems resistant to this idea, you can even frame this as something you’re doing as a family. Counselors are trained to work with individuals of various ages, as well as families, to help them deal with, understand, and process whatever feelings they have or any issues they are facing.

Question 6: Do you know what counselors do?

Teens often have a picture in their heads of what counseling looks like. It often parallels how counseling or therapy is depicted on television. This can make it seem unappealing to them.

You can help them understand a few key elements of counseling and how therapy looks. Here are some helpful things you can say:

• “Did you know you don’t have to lie down in counseling? You can sit, stand, walk around, or do what is comfortable for you.”
• “I’m glad that counselors keep things private. They aren’t even allowed to tell a parent what their child says unless someone is in danger.”
• “Sometimes it’s so helpful to know that a counselor is there for me.”
• “Counselors are great listeners.”
• “Sometimes it helps to have someone to vent to that is unbiased. Counselors are great for that.”
• “Counselors care about their clients.”
• “Did you know that counselors can help make a plan to get through stressful situations?”
• “I wish I had talked to a counselor when I was stressed. It would have been nice to know that someone was there for me.”
• “You don’t have to go to counseling every single week. You can make a schedule with a counselor that works best for you.”
• “Sometimes just a few visits with a counselor can make a big difference.”

These may seem like little things to point out, but they can make a big difference in reassuring your teen. Helping them know what to expect can make counseling feel less intimidating.

Help is available: Counseling for teens.

If you are considering counseling for your teen, we are here to help. There are counselors in our office who are trained to work specifically with teens and families to help them navigate what can sometimes be a tumultuous season of life.

As you begin to talk with your teen about the possibility of counseling you may find it goes smoothly, giving you an open door to suggest counseling for them. If your talks do not go how you hope, however, we are here to help and support you.

You can begin by setting up a few sessions for you to meet with a counselor yourself. A trained counselor can listen and provide opportunities for you to express your concerns constructively. The counselor can also help you develop a plan for the best way to introduce the idea of counseling to your teen.

We understand that it can be hard to navigate these waters with your teen. This stage is full of change for both of you. Knowing how to handle it can feel overwhelming at times. The counselors here don’t want you to go through this alone. We are here to support you and your teen as you pursue wellness for both of you.

No matter what you decide, we are here to support you in the ways you need it most. Reach out to our office today and we will connect you with a counselor that specializes in teens and families. Help is available. You don’t have to do this alone.