Important Questions to Ask Your Significant Other

Can you ever know too much about the people you care about? In some circumstances, you find out things about loved ones that change how you view them, and you might want to turn the clock back to before you asked and obtained the terrible knowledge. In most cases, though, knowing more about your significant other – even the uncomfortable things – helps you appreciate them more as a person.

Why ask questions to your significant other?

There are a few good reasons to pursue a deeper understanding of your significant other. Some of these include:

It’s good to be and to remain curious about them

People change and grow. Also, not everything comes up in conversation or by simply observing them. Being curious about your loved one helps them know you’re still interested in them and are willing to learn more about them.

Helps you understand them better

You can’t presume that you know everything about someone. Instead of making assumptions, simply ask them about what you want to know. That’s the case whether your relationship is new, or a decade down the line.

Helps you avoid miscommunication and increase alignment

Asking questions helps you avoid misreading situations and gives you insight into how and person thinks or feels. You can guess how a person is, but asking them allows you to act with knowledge and avoid miscommunication.

Helps you make an informed choice

Knowledge is power, and when you know more about your significant other, it can help you to make informed choices. In a premarital situation, for instance, it can help you discern if your goals align and if the relationship has a future.

Questions you can ask

There are a number of questions you can ask your significant other at various stages of your relationship. The questions themselves can vary in depth, and you can ask them casually over a date, or when you’re in the middle of a conflict to help understand one another better.

How are you doing? / What do you need right now?

A simple but profound question that allows you to gauge what needs they may have, and whether you can meet those needs to support them.

What are your hopes and dreams?

This can include what their hopes are for your relationship, or what they see for themselves in their career. Knowing what a person hopes for can give you insight into their values and sense of purpose.

What brings you joy?

This is a window into what makes them tick and can give you insight into what a great gift idea for them might look like.

What does a well-lived life look like to you?

This is a deep question that hints at their life goals, values, and what they want their life to be. From this, you can see how to partner with and support them.

What gets you up in the morning?

The answer to this question can change over time and in different seasons. Asking this helps you gain insight into what moves them here and now, and where their passions lie. In one season it may be the kids, in another, it could be a project at home or work, and in another, they may not have a passion that gives them a zest for life.

What do you want to get better at?

A self-aware person knows their strengths and weaknesses. This self-diagnostic question helps your partner reflect, and it can be something over which you can keep them accountable.

What picture is conjured by the word “holiday”?

Couples and families often discover when they go away on vacation that their idea of a holiday isn’t the same. This question is great early on in a relationship to find out how you use your free time and to avoid conflict later when you go on a holiday together.

What does “love” look like to you?

Our upbringing and expectations shape our understanding of this loaded term. A Biblical understanding of love as modeled by Jesus Christ will look different from how love is often understood in our culture.

Questions are a great way to build understanding and to invest in a relationship. Being curious about your significant other will help you reduce conflict by getting to the heart of their concerns by allowing them to articulate them. Instead of making assumptions, recognize that a well-placed question can do a lot for your relationship.

There are many couples counseling exercises and ideas you can make use of to keep your relationship fresh, cultivate a deeper understanding of each other, develop better communication, and pull together in the same direction.

In some situations, it can be helpful to probe deeper while in a safe space with the help of a professional counselor in Stone Oak, texas. Don’t hesitate to reach out to us at Stone Oak Christian Counseling to make use of a couples counselor in Stone Oak who can guide your explorations and reinvigorate your relationship.