Dealing With A Shattered Heart After Miscarriage

Loss comes to us in different ways. One of the most devastating ways to experience loss is when it’s through a miscarriage. The promise of a new life that doesn’t come to full flower can leave one feeling confused, angry, guilty, and uncertain about the future. Understanding what happened can be a step toward finding healing and wholeness after miscarriage.

Making sense of a miscarriage

A miscarriage is the spontaneous loss of a fetus before reaching the twentieth week of the pregnancy. No matter the circumstances, it’s emotionally devastating to lose a child. You may or may not have known that you were pregnant, but the miscarriage comes as a surprise. Miscarriages happen due to various reasons. It’s important to remember that most miscarriages aren’t caused by anything the mother, or her partner did or didn’t do.

Miscarriages happen most often because of genetic abnormalities such as having too many or too few chromosomes which prevent the normal development of the baby.

Other potential but less common causes include hormonal imbalances such as insufficient progesterone; uterine or cervical problems; immunological factors which include autoimmune disorders and other issues with the mother’s immune system; bacterial or viral infections; and lifestyle factors such as excessive use of alcohol or drugs as well as smoking.

Additionally, there is an increased risk of miscarriage for women over thirty-five years of age, and environmental factors such as exposure to toxins, radiation, or certain chemicals can also contribute to a miscarriage. Lastly, in some cases, the cause of miscarriage may not be identified. Whatever the potential cause, if you’ve experienced a miscarriage, it’s essential to seek medical care and counseling to address any emotional or physical concerns.

Finding healing after miscarriage

Having a miscarriage doesn’t prevent you from being able to have a baby in the future. However, after a miscarriage, you need to prioritize your physical and emotional well-being. Here are some steps to consider as you seek healing after a miscarriage:

Allow yourself to grieve

A miscarriage is a loss, and it’s important to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself time to process your emotions. Grief is unpredictable, and while we don’t all grieve in the same way, it’s important to create space and permit yourself to grieve.

Seek medical care

Follow up with your healthcare provider for any necessary medical attention or check-ups. It takes about two weeks for the tissue from the pregnancy to pass from your body. If there are any issues such as continued bleeding or an infection, these must be addressed sooner than later. Also, not all are visibly recognized. For example, parts might be retained that the mother would not know that could cause infection.

Rest and self-care

Make sure to take time to rest, engage in activities that bring you a measure of comfort, and practice self-compassion. Prioritize your physical and emotional well-being, being sure to seek help when you need it. Eating a balanced diet, getting sleep, and doing appropriate exercise can help with your physical healing as well as reducing levels of stress. It is ok to take some time off work to heal.

Use your support network

You don’t have to go through a loss such as a miscarriage alone. You can reach out to trusted loved ones, friends, or a support group for emotional support. Many have experienced miscarriages and can empathize with what you’re going through. Organizations like the National Miscarriage Association and the American Pregnancy Association can offer you the support and guidance you need.

Memorialize your pregnancy

For many women, being able to mark and remember the pregnancy is important for their healing and grieving process. You can create a memory book, plant a tree, write a poem, paint a picture, or find another special way to honor your pregnancy.

Take time before trying again

After a miscarriage, most women go on to have successful pregnancies. Your physical recovery can take a couple of months, but your emotional and mental recovery can take longer. You may have feelings like sadness, anger, regret, or guilt that need to be addressed. Wait until you feel physically and emotionally ready to try for another pregnancy.

Counseling or therapy

Consider seeking professional help to navigate the complex emotions that accompany a miscarriage. You and your partner may need to talk to someone to work through your experience so that you can cope with the loss, but also so that you are emotionally prepared and can try again for another pregnancy should you so choose.

Professional support

Healing is a unique and individual process, but you must create room and allow yourself to heal. The Lord meets us in our places of pain, and He comforts us in our affliction (Psalm 31). Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate this challenging time. Reach out to us today at Stone Oak Christian Counseling in Texas. We will set up an appointment for you with a trained therapist in Stone Oak, Texas who will help you process what you’ve been through and walk toward healing and wholeness.