Kate Motaung

Gaslighting is a term that is becoming more commonly used to define abusive relationships. It happens when you aren’t even aware. It may seem subtle at first but then it implodes into a whirlwind of emotions. Trying to describe how gaslighting happens can be difficult at times because of the persona of the abuser. Understanding the gaslighting signs can help you recognize whether you are in an abusive relationship. What is gaslighting? The term gaslighting is used to describe [...]

Spending the holidays when you are single doesn’t have to be difficult. Here are some practical tips and uplifting advice that will help you embrace the season, find some joy, and make it meaningful. Holidays have long been considered a time for love, family, and connection, which may make being single rather challenging. Sometimes, you can’t help comparing when the world outside seems to be focused on couples and families. However, there are times when being single during the [...]

Sometimes something is so broken, so off track, that fixing it is just not realistic. Through my years as a practicum student, intern, life coach, and now also a professional counselor, I can think of a handful of these cases that have come across my desk during those years. There are times when life is so chaotic that refreshing or restarting is the only option. I am not talking about instances of DV, that is a different subject. What [...]

Americans face many challenges on any given day. One of the challenges that many Americans and their families face is chemical dependency and addiction. The 2023 United States National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH) indicated that around 48.5 million Americans aged twelve and older battled a substance use disorder in the past year. That same survey also indicated that about 10% of Americans twelve and older had an alcohol use disorder in the past year, and 20.4 [...]

“It was supposed to be one of the best days of my life,” she said, pausing to stare off into the distance. Her mind was clearly replaying the day and she sat in silence as tears filled her eyes as she spoke. She stared down at the infant in her arms and said, “when I look at him all I think about is the trauma. This isn’t what welcoming a child into the world is supposed to be like. I [...]

A lot of people are more familiar with physical abuse because it is tangible, and it is often perpetrated against the body. It is easier to prove physical abuse because such abuse often leaves physical evidence as proof. Emotional abuse, on the other hand, can be quite complex in that it cannot be seen. The person against whom the emotional abuse is being perpetrated might not realize early on that they are being emotionally abused because it mostly involves [...]

Are you in a relationship that has you questioning your memory or second-guessing your thought processes and judgment? If your sense of reality doesn’t match what your partner keeps saying, you may be experiencing gaslighting in a relationship. This little space on the internet is for you, my friend. Repeated gaslighting is abusive behavior. It is important that if you can relate to this article, you get help right away. What Gaslighting in a Relationship Feels Like You may [...]

Exercise is an activity that some love and others loathe. It is rare to find someone who expresses a mediocre sentiment about something that demands time, intense energy, and sustained effort. This is true of exercise and other types of growth, including spiitual growth. Part of what makes any exercise program more effective is visualizing the benefits of what we gain versus the temporary nature of what we lose. Not only does this occur when we do physical exercise, [...]

There is likely no relationship that affects you as deeply as the relationship between you and your spouse. A spouse is the person that you chose to commit yourself to for the remainder of your life. When you go through hardship, celebrate your joys, in feast or famine, they are the person you’re most intimately connected with. They know your body, they ache when you ache, and exult when you do; they see you at your lowest and in [...]

Recovering from codependency is possible, but it’s not always easy. We remain locked into codependent relationships for many reasons, even when we know how they are damaging us. Being so closely tangled up with another person who relies on us, and on whom we can rely, is like having dopamine on tap. We have quick access to a feel-good emotional drug, and that can be addictive. The term “codependency” was first used in the context of Alcoholics Anonymous to [...]

Communication is a skill that all humans need to navigate life and relationships. There are conditions in our lives that can hijack our communication and hold us hostage to a mindset that disrupts connection instead of facilitating it. We see this when exploring the nature of codependency. Codependency is the state of being mutually reliant. For example, a relationship between two individuals who are emotionally dependent on one another. Codependent relationships are often characterized by dysfunction in which one [...]

When a child leaves for college, feelings of empty nest syndrome can be overwhelming. The house suddenly feels quieter, and one’s daily routine has changed. It is okay to feel sad or uncertain about this change. If you are in this situation, you may be wondering how you are going to align with the new normal and what to do with the extra time and space. Worry no more because this is exactly what this article will help you [...]