Moving Past Abandonment Issues with Faith-Filled Support

Abandonment issues can cause problems in relationships and how one views oneself. It can lead to emotional distancing from others, low self-esteem, and a lack of self-confidence. The fear of rejection may cause self-sabotage in relationships and careers.

But you can move past abandonment issues and rebuild your self-image.

Ways to Move Past Abandonment Issues

Abandonment issues can make life complicated. For some people, this can be sabotaging a beautiful relationship out of fear that the other person will leave at some point. For others, it’s believing the lies that no one loves or cares for them and that no one ever will. It’s the (false) belief that they are not worthy of love.

Abandonment issues often stem from childhood; someone who was supposed to love you left or neglected you. In some cases, abandonment issues can develop in adulthood during and after a toxic relationship.

It will take time to heal from the wounds inflicted by others. The goal is to heal your heart, recover your worth, shift your mindset, and discover who you are in Christ to be the confident and loved man or woman God created.

The following are several suggestions for moving past abandonment issues.

Set Boundaries

It’s a sad fact, but people take advantage of others in this fallen world. Learning to set boundaries not only limits the access that people have to you, but it also protects your peace. If you are worried that setting boundaries will lead to abandonment of your loved ones, reassure them that you are only trying to protect your own peace.

Be open and honest about your triggers. Any behavior that makes you second-guess yourself or leaves you feeling unloved or neglected needs to be addressed. Create a non-negotiable list of behaviors you will not tolerate. People who really love you do not want to see you hurting or overwhelmed.

Understand Your Triggers

Understanding your triggers will help you become more self-aware of your thoughts and behaviors. A negative thought can lead to low emotions and poor behavior. In this same cycle, self-sabotaging behaviors can reaffirm negative thoughts. For example, if you engage in infidelity during every relationship due to fear of abandonment, this action may confirm the false belief that you are incapable of love.

Journaling is a tool that many find effective in identifying and analyzing thought and behavioral patterns. It is also a safe space to work out alternative behaviors and experiment with setting boundaries.

Form Relationships with People You Trust

You need a support system that can remind you of your magnificence as a child of God. Forming and nurturing these relationships is crucial. You need people you can trust. This can be a close friend or family member. The circle does not need to be large, and in many cases, most people only trust one or two people to share confidential information.

Make sure you reciprocate your friend’s time and support. The fear of abandonment can cause us to sabotage these important relationships. Ask your circle to keep you accountable and not let you withdraw and isolate.

Work on Building Confidence

Low self-esteem and a lack of confidence can prevent you from seizing good opportunities and taking the next step in your relationships, career, or family life. Engage in activities that will build confidence. Set small goals and do something every day to help you achieve them.

Engage in more self-care. Self-care is not selfish. It is an activity that signals to your brain that you are worth the time, attention, and care. This could look like getting a new haircut or pedicure, taking a course to advance your career, taking the first step in realizing a dream, or spending time engaging in a relaxing hobby. Challenge yourself to step outside of your comfort zone to grow.

Join a Support Group

Joining a support group can help you develop communication skills, make new friends, and learn how to give and receive encouragement and advice from others who are dealing with similar issues related to abandonment.

Check online for local or virtual support groups. Your counselor may also suggest one or offer you resources to start your own small group.

Seek Professional Help

It’s time to stop allowing the past to guide your future. You are worthy of love. God loves you and will never abandon you. His word says, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.” (Lamentations 3:22, NIV)

We can depend on God to never fail us. Christian counseling combines Scripture and faith-filled principles with evidence-backed therapy to overcome abandonment issues. Contact our office today to get started.