Can You Recognize the Signs of Gaslighting?

Emotional abuse can come in many forms, including name-calling and insults. But gaslighting is one form you may not be aware of. The signs of gaslighting can rob you of your self-confidence and place you in an emotionally abusive relationship.

What is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is the act of someone intentionally saying or doing things to make you doubt yourself or think you are crazy. Manipulators use gaslighting to control and manage their victims. When you are knowledgeable of the signs of gaslighting, you can take back control and seek help.

The Signs of Gaslighting

A manipulator who uses gaslighting as a tactic may:

Shift Blame – One of the most common signs of gaslighting is shifting blame. The manipulator will blame you for their actions. They may say things, such as, “If you didn’t push my buttons all the time,” or “You just couldn’t let it go, could you? Now, look what’s happened.”

Rarely are they the ones at fault. This process can take months or years to develop, and you may find yourself constantly apologizing, even when things are not your fault.

Project Guilt – A manipulator will project guilt or their own faults onto you. This is widely seen in cases of infidelity. Often, the spouse who is cheating will accuse the other spouse of having an affair.

This accusation causes the other spouse to feel the need to prove that they are not cheating by bending over backwards for the manipulator, apologizing for something they haven’t done, or giving up freedoms to show that they are in a committed relationship, such as unfriending people of the opposite sex on social media or allowing their spouse to go through their messages anytime.

Isolate You – A manipulator knows the easiest way to control someone is to isolate them from others. They may say things to you about your family and friends to make you not want to be around them. They may turn others against you through lies and manipulation. This action makes you feel like you have no one to turn to, and the manipulator uses this to their advantage.

Make Light of Your Feelings – An emotionally abusive spouse using gaslighting techniques may accuse you of being too sensitive or overdramatic about something they did.

They may make light of your feelings and the hurt they have caused you with comments such as, “You always make a big deal out of everything,” or “This is why no one likes you. You blow everything up.” Even when you have proof, a manipulator will try to convince you that either they didn’t do it or that their actions do not carry the weight that you believe they do.

Work to Sabotage Your Confidence – The only way to tear down a person is to sabotage their confidence and have them second-guess themselves. Doubting yourself can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.

Since gaslighting is typically a slow process, the manipulator chips away at your confidence over time, while also intensifying their behavior. What once started as a few “white” lies becomes full-blown manipulations that can destroy your family and relationships.

Help is available for the effects of emotional abuse.

Help for Emotional Abuse

Do the signs of gaslighting sound familiar? You may be in a toxic relationship with a manipulator. Perhaps you recently broke free from an emotionally abusive relationship, but you are having issues with the effects of gaslighting. Reach out for help today. Our representatives can connect you to a Christian counselor to schedule a session.