Shame: Satan’s Weapon of Lies

Shame is one of the greatest weapons that the Devil uses to keep us from feeling worthy and achieving God’s plans for our lives. John 10:10 (NKJV) says, “The thief does not come except to steal, kill, and destroy.” Satan lies to us using shame as one of his most devastating tools to keep us stuck in toxicity, bad behaviors, addiction, and a life filled with regret.

Shame Brings Condemnation

Shame attacks our identity and is a blackmailer, forcing us to feel the need to protect our secrets at all costs so others don’t see us for the lies we have come to believe define us. Just like a blackmailer tells you to pay up or they will release your darkest secret, shame lies to you that people will leave you, hate you, or see you as a fraud.

Satan introduced shame into the Garden of Eden after Adam and Eve ate from the forbidden fruit. Before that, Adam and Eve did not require clothing; they were completely innocent, unaware, and created in the image of God. Once they ate the fruit, their eyes were opened to their nakedness, and they covered themselves in shame.

Shame brings condemnation, inspires self-hatred, low self-esteem, and the belief that we are unworthy. Condemnation can come from the Devil. With condemnation, there is self-loathing, a sense of worthlessness, a feeling of being a failure, and a sense of being a horrible person. Condemnation pronounces a sentence without a trial.

Mercy brings conviction when we have truly done something wrong. Conviction comes from the Holy Spirit through our conscience. With conviction comes remorse, confession, repentance, changing our hearts and behaviors, making amends, and resolutions. There is freedom on the other side.

Shame never allows freedom. It requires you to serve a life sentence. Shame says, “Because I made a mistake, I am the mistake. Because I did something bad or something bad was done to me, I am therefore a bad person.” Shame does not allow you to separate who you are from what you have done or what has been done to you.

We are not defined by our errors

We are not the sum of our mistakes or bad decisions, and we are not the sum of our traumas. If we have been saved, we are the children of the One True King who have been washed in the blood of the Lamb who was slain, thereby being born again into freedom from condemnation/shame. As Christians, our identity is in Christ. Death has been conquered, and we will be able to spend eternity in Heaven basking in the glory of God.

Christ died on the cross because He loved us enough to take on our sins and offer us complete forgiveness, as well as life everlasting. Shame lies by telling us we are separated from God’s love and cannot be loved by Him, ourselves, or others. By Him taking on the sin of the world, he defeated shame and death.

When God has forgiven you, your sins are wiped clean and erased from existence. Psalm 103:12 (NIV) says, “As far as the East is from the West, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”

Yet why do we as Christians continue to live in shame, afraid that others will find out that we are inherently bad? We hide our secrets deep within, thinking we can protect them from anyone finding out. However, God knows more about us than we know about ourselves. He already knows our deepest secret and loves us anyway.

Shame is an isolator

Satan uses shame to keep us isolated from others, afraid to take on new opportunities, destroying relationships, careers, and the good things in our lives by causing us to self-sabotage before someone else sees through our façade. Shame puts us in a virtual prison serving a life sentence. Rarely does the punishment fit the crime, and when we have asked for forgiveness for our sins, the crime has been dismissed and expunged.

Have you ever noticed that shame keeps you from getting close to others, keeps you believing you are not worthy, and accepting bad or toxic things as what you deserve? Shame makes it difficult for you to look someone else in the eye and keeps you from holding your head up. It tricks you into believing that you don’t deserve anything but pain and suffering.

Shame is a liar that tells you that no one can ever love you because of what you have done, which it says defines who you are. Often, shame drives us to our addictions, destroys our relationships, and leaves us in a depressed and/or anxious state, completely unable to function.

Origins of Shame

How does the Devil trigger shame in our lives? He often does it in childhood through rejection, abandonment, criticism, being constantly corrected, feeling like we’re not good enough, feeling unloved, being made to feel like a burden, comparison to others, feeling different, isolated, not fitting in, emotional abuse, punishment for normal needs or emotions, experiencing humiliation, high expectations, perfectionism, boundary violations, and trauma.

Shame in children can come from misunderstood expectations and experiences, along with internalization and personalization that “I must be the problem.” Just like children frequently internalize the problems of their parents and feel they must be the reason for the divorce. Children internalize shame, and unless someone comes alongside them to tell them otherwise, it carries into adulthood. If we’re not careful, we then pass it to our children.

How do we lay down our shame? As a liar, shame tells us we must keep it secret. Shame is shattered when we do the opposite – when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, take responsibility, and admit what we’re ashamed of.

Satan has told us that others will leave us, and God will turn His back on us. However, God knows what we feel shame about and has already wiped it clean. If you have truly repented of your sins but are still wallowing in shame, you may be refusing to accept God’s forgiveness. If you have not repented, then there is no time like the present.

Opening Up

When you let others know what you’re ashamed of. You will more often find that you are not alone in your shame. By voicing it, you destroy the power that darkness has held over it. You will be able to step into His light and lift your head high. Shame will keep you from loving yourself and will cause you to hate who you believe you are. Stop believing the lies and reconnect with God’s Word.

It says you are loved, worthy, and forgiven. If you feel the weight of shame, ask God right now to remind you that you have already been set free. If there is something that you have been holding back from God, then in repentance, confess it to Him and lay down the shame. Start loving yourself again and seeing yourself through God’s eyes, not the lies you have been holding on to for far too long.

Examine yourself to see how you interpret incidents, mistakes, or trauma. When you start equating what happened to who you are, that is shame talking. That is not the truth. You are feeling condemned. Our mistakes, bad decisions, rebellion, addiction, sins, or anything else that happens are not who we are. They are but a moment in time. Sometimes we can have the best of intentions, and things still go pear-shaped because we cannot see the big picture.

Sometimes we truly have bad intentions or don’t care about the outcome. Does that mean that we are bad? No, it means that we need to recognize our bad attitudes and hearts, we need to repent, make amends, and change back to who God calls us to be. Remember, with conviction and repentance comes forgiveness and freedom.

The Power of Words

Words are powerful. They speak truth and lies, life and death. Be careful of the words that come out of your mouth. Be careful of the words you tell yourself in your thoughts. The words you tell yourself or voice to others have the power to lift up, demonstrate love, grace, and glorify God, or tear down, destroy, and pronounce shame/condemnation.

Your words are powerful. Never tell a child, yourself, or someone else, “shame on you.” You are pronouncing shame on the other. You are saying, “Because you did something bad, you are a bad person.” Shame can start and stop based on the words we say.

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. – Psalm 19:14, NIV