When a child leaves for college, feelings of empty nest syndrome can be overwhelming. The house suddenly feels quieter, and one’s daily routine has changed. It is okay to feel sad or uncertain about this change. If you are in this situation, you may be wondering how you are going to align with the new normal and what to do with the extra time and space. Worry no more because this is exactly what this article will help you with.
We are going to offer you practical advice and emotional support to make this transition easier for you. Considering the given strategies, you will find ways of filling this gap and discovering new opportunities awaiting you in this new phase of life. Afterward, the collaboration process begins.
Understanding empty nest syndrome
Before getting straight to how to cope with empty nest feelings when children leave for college, it’s essential to first understand what empty nest syndrome is.
Empty nest syndrome risks the state of emotional distress by the parents when their children leave home. This may be expressed by a cocktail of feelings associated with the transition: sadness, loneliness, and sometimes even a feeling of emptiness in general.
It’s more than just missing your child. This syndrome often reflects a deeper shift in your identity and daily life. Parents invest years in the upbringing and care of their children, and their absence may leave a void in an empty nest.
First comes recognition of these feelings, then ways of adapting and addressing them. Knowing what is going on with you will help you manage your emotions as you attempt to adjust to this new phase of life. Now let’s discuss some practical coping strategies that will help you.
Coping strategies
Here are some coping strategies that will help you overcome feelings associated with an empty nest:
Journaling: understanding your feelings
Journaling is just one of the many powerful ways to make self-discovery about your emotional state during the phase of an empty nest. First, select a medium you are comfortable with, be it a physical notebook or a digital app.
Schedule specific times for journaling each day or week so that you get into a routine and can regularly reflect on your emotions. As you begin to write, try to be candid and be honest about the expression of your feelings.
You could start with prompts like, “Today I felt.” or “I’m struggling with.”. This exercise can help you go deep into your feelings and track patterns, if any, over time.
Both the processing of your emotions and better feelings toward your sentiments could come in just reflecting on experience regularly. Journaling can be a guide in pinpointing possible areas or places where you might need different kinds of assistance, or even change.
Staying in touch with your child: regular communication
Keeping open communication with your child regularly will go a long way in keeping a possible relationship between the two of you. You need to settle on a pattern of communication that works for both of you.
Schedule weekly regular phone calls, video chats every other week, and, of course, text messages every day. It is also about getting the most appropriate tool for communication – from an instant messaging app to a video conferencing platform – to make communication a bit easier.
Talk about things that make mutual points of interest to both. Ask them how their college life, studies, and new experiences are going; share with them how your activities and achievements are. This keeps the connection as strong as ever and reassures you and your child that the relationship matters even with distance.
This keeps the bond but also brings a great deal of emotional comfort and support to both of you as you go through this new phase.
Rediscovering hobbies: finding joy in what you love.
This is the perfect time to rediscover hobbies, as this might fill the vacuum caused by your child’s departure and even bring in a personal sense of fulfillment. Get back to doing what you have enjoyed before the child’s relocation, such as painting, gardening, and similar activities, or reading.
Think about what made them pleasurable experiences and how those things might again fit into your life now. If you’re open to it and looking for new interests, think about things you’ve maybe always wanted to try but never seem to get around to, such as learning a new language, taking up knitting, and cooking experiments.
Scheduling these activities to be done on a routine basis allows for the hint of persisting with them in daily life. Joining classes around your location or online groups about your interests will give structure and a social feel to your hobby time.
It could range from dance lessons to joining a book club, rediscovering an old hobby, or taking up a new one. It certainly brings joy back into one’s life. Along with these activities, come learning and an affiliation of like-minded people.
Building relationships: spending quality time with others
Working on relationships with friends and family gives support, and helps to balance feelings of loneliness. Start by rekindling your relationship with old friends and distant family members with whom you’ve lost touch over the years.
This may be through frequent calls, messages, and plans to finally meet up with one another. Time invested in these relationships yields dividends emotionally and connects one to a companion.
This will not only strengthen the bonds but also bring some enjoyment to the activities you plan together like dining out, events, meeting for coffee, etc. Giving them undivided attention, and being present with them during this time set aside for them, shows a real interest in developing that relationship.
This can also extend to companions who support each other through times of hardship, thus enhancing the relationship and inspiring one another. As you invest in your social network, you create a supportive community that will be there to take some of the loneliness out of this adjustment as the children leave home.
Getting support: finding help and advice
If you find yourself struggling to cope with the empty nest transition, seeking professional support can be beneficial. You could start by seeking mental health professionals specializing in family transition support or emotional well-being.
Use online directories to help locate therapists or counselors. You can also get referrals for therapy from friends or your health insurance company. Support groups – either in your local community or online – can help you feel less isolated and part of a larger community that can understand.
These groups also provide an avenue to share with people who may be undergoing a similar problem and help you see a better way of dealing with the problem. If the therapist allows, write down your specific concerns or topics you would like to discuss in order to assist you in making the sessions a bit more productive.
Progress will be made through consistent determination to go to your appointments and follow through on any strategies or exercises recommended. Professional and peer advice will help you gain new perspectives, and coping skills, and be emotionally reassured in this time of change.
Setting new goals: growing personally and professionally
Setting new goals can turn your energy into positive, productive activities that support your settling into the empty nest phase. This activity will help guide you in thinking about what aspects of life you would like some development in or what new skills you would like to learn.
This might relate to your career, further education, or personal interests if you wish to develop yourself further. Goals that are set should be clear, specific, and measurable within time limits. For example, instead of a vague goal like “improve my career,” define tangible goals such as “take up professional development studies” or “apply for a promotion.”
Now, break these goals into smaller actionable steps and create a timeline by which to achieve them. Review the progress made regularly and practice adjusting where necessary. Motivation is at its highest level when reminders of benefits and rewards related to achieving those goals are in view.
By investing in your personal and professional development, you will fill in not only the void left by your child’s exit but also be more purposeful and fulfilled.
Embracing change: updating your space and routine
Adapting your home environment and daily routine can help you adjust to life after your child leaves for college.
Start with a reflection on new changes in your living space that could express your new step in life. Perhaps you can consider converting your child’s room into a guest room, home office, or hobby room.
It may also mean changing your décor to follow those current interests that can make a space even more personalized and fun. You may also want to change your daily routine to be more suited to the circumstances you’re in and help you find a new groove.
For example, if your old routine has revolved around your child’s activities, then you may design a couple of new routines that reflect what is important to you now and what’s interesting to you. Try some new activities or habits that you never had time for.
Regularly check in with yourself to see whether these changes help your mood, and make other changes whenever necessary to keep your environment and routine supportive of you. Embracing change in your space and routine can foster a sense of renewal and help you navigate this new phase of life with greater ease.
Looking forward
The empty nest can be a struggle, but it is a new beginning – a time of new opportunities to develop and be happy. The strategies and tips given will help you handle those transitions with dignity. It’s normal to have mixed feelings, but focusing on these steps can help you feel more positive. So, enjoy the change, take time to find new interests, and revel in this phase of life.
“Abandoned Next”, Courtesy of Sandy Millar, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Graduation Day!”, Courtesy of Vasily Koloda, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Moving Day”, Courtesy of Getty Images, Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License; “Fellowship”, Courtesy of Helena Lopes, Unsplash.com, CC0 License
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Amanda Lindsey: Author
As your therapist, I will be there for you and listen to you and your concerns. When we go through challenges in life, we can feel alone. Sometimes it helps just to have someone with whom you can talk things through. With kindness and empathy, I will...
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Kate Motaung: Curator
Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging...
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