It is common for someone to feel some social anxiety before going into a new situation. Whether it is the first day of a new job, going to a social event, or meeting someone new, most people experience butterflies in their stomachs or a case of jitters.
Even those who appear the most confident and in control can be nervous. Fans of Ted Lasso got the chance to see how Rebecca, the owner of the soccer team Ted coaches in England, deals with her nerves.
She was helping an employee find the nerve to ask for a window table at a local restaurant. It was something seemingly small, yet for the employee took much courage. The employee commented that it was easy for Rebecca to be assertive since she commanded whatever room she was in. Rebecca laughed. She was often the only woman in a room full of men, she explained. To not be overlooked and brushed off, she had a secret trick.
Rebecca demonstrated her trick, which was getting as big as possible. She stood in front of the mirror and raised herself to be as big as possible while silently roaring to herself. It is a reminder to take up space, not to shy away, and that she belongs as much as anyone else.
Tricks like Rebecca’s might work for some, but what if jitters go much deeper? What if any new situation, or even a gathering of friends, is enough to send someone into a panic?
It is easy for the signs of social anxiety to be overlooked or minimized. Most people are afraid of public speaking. But for some, even the idea of speaking can lead to fears of saying the wrong thing, doing something embarrassing, or committing some truly horrible faux pas!
It is a feeling of always being watched and judged. Social anxiety is not just about “new” moments, but everyday ones. If they are in a coffee shop with others, they wonder if they are being watched and judged.
A person with social anxiety can never let loose because he or she fears saying or doing something he or she cannot overcome. He or she wants to go to that party, sing karaoke, or get a new job, but the list of what could go wrong is paralyzing.
Social anxiety is a lot of how someone speaks to himself or herself and what he or she lets play in his or her head. But it is also physical. Signs of social anxiety can include:
- Blushing.
- Sweating a lot.
- Rapid heartbeat.
- Shaking.
- Feeling dizzy.
- Feeling nauseous.
In a sense, social anxiety feels like a constant state of embarrassment.
We have all seen those scenes in TV shows and movies where the student is called on by the teacher yet is unprepared and says something wrong. Everyone else laughs. The teacher scoffs. The student is mercilessly teased. Often those moments end up being a dream or someone’s worst fear. For someone with social anxiety, which is what every situation and every encounter can feel like.
Social anxiety leads to isolation. When a person is only able to imagine the worst possible outcome, he or she stops doing things that could lead to that outcome. Even if it is something a person wants to do or someone the person enjoys, the possibility of something going awry forces him or her to pull back.
The signs of social anxiety are internal. This is a situation where the best of intentions can do more harm than good. It is important for the signs of social anxiety to not be overlooked or minimized. For a person with it, to be told he or she is overreacting, or to get over it or stop being silly, can do more harm than good.
Christian Counseling for Social Anxiety
A good counselor can help develop techniques that help a person deal with his or her social anxiety. The counselor can help get to the root cause and help a person talk through his or her fears. Medication might be needed. It is important for those around a person with social anxiety to be understanding.
Small steps are vital, as are identifying what situations cause more anxiety than others. The employee in Ted Lasso found a way to overcome his inability to speak up. He faced his fears by utilizing his getting-big technique.
You are not alone in your social anxiety. Feeling like the world is spiraling does not have to be your status quo. A counselor at our office is available to help. Please give us a call today.
“Check This Out!”, Courtesy of Tunus Tug, Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License; “Hangin’ Out”, Courtesy of Eliott Reyna, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Study Group”, Courtesy of Annie Spratt, Unsplash.com, CC0 License
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Kate Motaung: CuratorKate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging...
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Articles are intended for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice; the content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. All opinions expressed by authors and quoted sources are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the editors, publishers or editorial boards of Stone Oak Christian Counseling. This website does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Site. Reliance on any information provided by this website is solely at your own risk.
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