How Counseling Can Help with Family Problems

Family problems happen. You cannot prepare for every situation or crisis that comes along. Even if you know about specific issues, it is still challenging to navigate through them when you are in the thick of it.

Many people seek therapy for family problems. This type of family counseling brings awareness to the problem and methods for dealing with it. Each family member is heard and seen during counseling; their voice matters.

Common family problems

No family is immune to problems. Yet, some issues can cause offense, isolation, neglect, abuse, and emotional distance. Some family problems can rip relationships apart. Children can turn against their parents, siblings may never speak to each other again, or a parent may feel it is safer to freeze out a child than to confront bad behavior.

The Bible stresses the importance of marriage and family.

Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court. – Psalm 127:3-5, NIV

There are times when it feels as if we are being sliced by those very arrows, our children. The Bible also warns us not to over-discipline our children either, but to raise them with the right amount of discipline and teaching.

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. – Proverbs 22:6, NIV

Raising a family is hard enough without outside factors such as bullying, financial downturns, health crisis, and mental conditions adding to the family problems.

The following are common family problems counselors address in therapy.

Communication issues and clashing personalities.

Differences in personalities can exist even among close family members. For example, a father may be extroverted, confrontational, and quick to get angry. His wife and son may be introverted and quiet, the peacemakers of the family. Yet, his young daughter may be a combination of both: quiet most of the time, then full of drama during her teen years. Not even twins may have the same personality.

When communication is a problem within a family, innocent mistakes can be blown out of proportion. Sometimes we allow our thoughts to cloud our judgment or base our actions on imagined scenarios and conversations.

Counseling sheds light on reality and allows us to address situations and emotions in a safe space. Your counselor can teach you and your family lifelong communication skills to diffuse a situation and confidently express your opinion.

New family dynamics.

New family dynamics can change the structure and routine of your home. A new baby, an aging or ill grandparent moving in, or the temporary addition of another child (such as foster children) can put everyone on edge. Children are especially vulnerable to a change in routine and are left wondering where they fit in with their families.

The stress that results from these changes can make family members more aggressive or hostile. They may snap at one another or hide in their bedroom most of the day. However, these changes are part of life. New babies will come along, foster children will need safe homes, and grandparents need to be cared for as they age and rely more on their adult children for support.

Family counseling addresses these changes and helps family members to share their feelings without guilt and shame. It also teaches everyone how to adapt constructively.

Impending divorce or after a divorce.

Divorce is hard on every family member. The separation, divorce hearings, and aftermath are challenging times for both the couple and their families. Lines are often drawn in the sand, whether meant to be or not. Experiencing a divorce is like losing a loved one. So much time, effort, and love have been invested. During and after a divorce, it can feel as if the time was wasted, and the effort was a failure.

Children can feel like divorce is their fault and are caught in the middle of choosing sides yet wanting to please both parents. As parents, we may become irritable, impatient, and angry at our children when we are alone in parenting responsibilities.

Family therapy works to help family members adjust and find closure at the end of the relationship. It is not the end of the family itself, only the current structure. Family therapy is an excellent way to navigate divorce and promote healing during a tough time.

A family member’s mental disorder or substance abuse problems.

If left untreated, mental disorders and substance abuse problems will cause rifts in relationships. The mood and emotional changes affect every family member, not only the one with the disorder. People struggling with chemical dependence or alcoholism are also at a higher risk for other mental illnesses.

Children of parents dealing with these struggles are more likely to imbibe themselves, often starting at a young age. This generational curse then follows a vicious cycle through the family.

Family counseling helps the family member with an addiction or mental disorder get help. It also teaches other family members how to manage the changes but not enable their loved ones.

A family member’s disability or chronic illness.

Disabilities and chronic illnesses are unavoidable, adding stress to an already stressful situation. The person with the disability or illness may feel guilt or shame for being a “burden” on the family. The family member may be bitter or resentful about relying on others for care.

The rest of the family may also be feeling guilty for wanting to do other things. Children can feel resentful about taking on responsibility for a sick grownup when they want to hang out with their friends or work a part-time job. Disabilities, chronic illness, and terminal diseases place a financial burden on many families.

But your home and family should be a safe place, full of love, kindness, and grace. It should be a place someone hurting and afraid can turn to while in a difficult life season. Family counseling can help to reconcile those feelings for the disabled or sick person and their family. Therapy can help find the support, resources, and encouragement your family needs.

Parent dating again after divorce or death.

After a divorce or the passing of a spouse, the parent may eventually want to date again after some time of healing. When a parent begins dating again, this can cause problems in the household as the dynamics shift. Often in a child’s eyes, the parent should not be dating or trying to replace the lost parent. In the case of divorce, the child may think that the parents might reconcile and remarry in time.

The parent may decide to marry someone new, bringing a stepparent into the mix and maybe new stepsiblings. These are life events and affect everyone. Not every family member may adjust well to these changes.

Family counseling addresses these changes from the parent wanting to seek a new relationship to premarital family counseling to prepare the family for second marriage and blended family.

Problems at work or school.

Behavior and academic complaints at school can cause family problems at home. A parent under much stress at home or work may not have the energy to deal with the child’s situation. The parent may not know how to advocate for their child at school when something seems unfair.

Parents experience stress at work and can quickly bring that stress home. They may snap at their families over small things during the week or become increasingly agitated or depressed on Sunday evenings, anticipating the job Monday morning.

Counseling seeks to get to the bottom of the school or work issues and find a way to resolve them or manage how you deal with the situation. These situations are rarely cut and dried, and you will always face disappointments and problems at work, but with therapy, you will be armed to face these challenges.

How Christian family counseling can help.

Counselors specializing in family problems see various issues, more than what is listed above. It is not too late to reach out to a counselor at Stone Oak Christian Counseling today for help. Peace and harmony in your home are worth the time investment of family therapy in Stone Oak, Texas. Contact our office today.