Helping Children Cope With Relocation Stress

Change is hard. We all find comfort in the familiar and the predictable. Relocation throws us into a world of the unknown which can be stressful, more so for children. However, it is noted that a lot of families need to move at least once in their lifetime. This number increases for families whose lives involve having to move constantly and can cause relocation stress.

This is especially true for military families, who on average can spend no more than three years stationed at any one base. No matter the reason for moving, it should be noted that children have a hard time with it and necessary measures need to be put in place to make the transition a lot easier for them.

There are many reasons why children experience relocation stress and knowing about potential fears is helpful for parents and guardians to better understand how to help. All this has a lot to do with how old a child is. If they are toddlers, the change might not cause much distress, though they too need to be monitored. If a child is above five years old, already in school systems, and has developed friendships, the move will most likely be harder.

With moving comes leaving one’s school, friends, and possibly a favorite teacher. All these need to be taken into consideration. At any age, most children are also anxious about being the new kid in class, having to navigate those first few days or weeks with no friends. Being forced to say goodbye to their friends and family relations is also something that can cause great distress, especially if the move is to another state or country altogether.

How to help children cope with relocation stress

Relocation is not only stressful for children, but it can be stressful for parents as well. Sometimes the reason for moving can have a larger impact, especially if it means a change in family structure as well.

Situations like divorce, the death of a parent, or fleeing one’s country because of unrest can add additional complications for children and families. However, no matter the reason, it is important that parents and guardians take initiative in preparing their children for relocation. Below are some strategies to consider:

Be available.

From the time the move is communicated, parents need to be available to their children to answer any questions they might have, provide a safe space for feelings to be expressed, and offer support when they are struggling. Being available means a parent can tell if any changes in mood or behavior need to be addressed before the move.

Involve the children.

Involving the children in age-appropriate decisions gives them a sense of ownership which can in turn bring feelings of excitement and anticipation for the new move. Familiarizing the children with the place they are moving to as much as possible can also make them feel involved as they can start making informed decisions.

Stick to routines.

Routine is important for children to feel safe. With the huge changes that come with relocation, they need something stable to hold on to and this can be achieved through maintaining routine when the move happens. This can mean bedtime, mealtimes, family times, and study times are not compromised. The sense of familiarity can be comforting.

Make it an adventure

Even something as life-changing as relocation can be turned into an adventure. Parents can do this by being positive about the move, talking about some of the things to look forward to, and certain experiences they can anticipate. Part of making it an adventure could also mean involving the children in the packing process and asking them to lend a hand and have fun choosing what stays and what goes.

Encourage social connections.

For children who are a bit older, leaving their friends and cousins could be devastating. For them to have a better transition, encourage and facilitate connections with those they care about through social media or phone calls. They might get the much-needed support from their peers

Seek professional help.

Not all children will find it easy to transition. If you find that your child is struggling, please reach out for support. This is especially important if after you relocate you see them experiencing the following:

• Anxiety.
• Depression.
• Withdrawal.
• Change in eating and sleeping habits.
• Decline in academic performance.
• Lack of interest in previously enjoyed activities.
• Struggling to make friends and settle in school.

Next steps

Times of transition can be tough for the whole family. If you and your family need help in dealing with relocation stress, get in touch with our offices. We can connect you to counselors who can provide comprehensive support for the family and its members.