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When You Don’t Feel Safe and Secure: Bible Verses About Fear

By |May 11th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

The world doesn’t always feel safe and hospitable toward us. Sometimes it feels downright hostile, and we just have to push our way through to stay ahead of trouble. There are lots of things that we experience that elicit fear from us, including concerns about whether we might lose our job, the fear evoked by the imminent sickness or death of a loved one, concerns about the future of our children, fear of being alone or unloved, or fears about our well-being and safety. For some, the last few years of living through a pandemic confirmed some of their worst nightmares, and there was much uncertainty which multiplied fears. Fear, while being a helpful emotion that allows us to be cautious and steer clear of danger, can become a problem. It can steal your joy. It can rob you of peace. It can make you uncertain and undermine your confidence. The Bible never seeks to disabuse us of the fact that the world is a dangerous place, and we are not promised safety from everything common to humanity. Jesus, God’s own Son who had committed no sin, went through fearful horrors none of us would wish upon our worst enemy. He says to His followers, “Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours.” (John 15:20 ESV). But He also says to them: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33, NIV). Jesus’ followers will go through hardships, but He promises them that since He has overcome the world, they [...]

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How to Flourish Even When You’re Getting Old

By |May 8th, 2024|Abandonment and Neglect, Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling|

In the 1980s sitcom The Golden Girls, a show about the lives of four older women who live together in Miami, there’s one episode called “Who’s face is this, anyway?” that has some interesting dialogue about growing old and losing your charms. Blanche Devereaux, the character that defines herself by her sex appeal and looks faces something of a crisis after she attends a reunion with her sorority sisters. It turns out the years haven’t been kind to Blanche, or at least she doesn’t seem to think so. Her sorority sisters all got some work done and rendered Blanche unremarkable. She didn’t take this well as she was used to being the center of attention. At a plastic surgeon’s office where she intends to have her eyes, nose, and breasts enhanced, Blanche’s doctor tells her that while there are many good reasons to have that kind of work done, there are also a lot of bad ones. In response, Blanche, in a rare moment of vulnerability, says that all her life she’s relied on her beauty, but now that beauty seems to be fading and she’s scared because she’s never had to do without it. While not everyone can relate to Blanche’s struggle with her fragile beauty, as one gets older, some things get lost along the way – independence, good health, beauty, mental acuity, friends and other loved ones who pass away, and so much more. As one gets older, there are things that one depended on that one begins to lose, and that can be scary. Getting older entails a certain amount of loss, but it’s possible to flourish as you get older. Our culture shies away from old age, urging us to do everything we can to keep it at bay, whether through medical interventions such [...]

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It’s Okay To Be Messy: Perfectionism and Anxiety

By |April 30th, 2024|Anxiety, Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Are you a person who finds yourself tired at the end of the day because you seem to have battled thoughts of how to maintain perfection? Do you find that you get lost in making something look perfect and never complete the project? It can be exhausting not only physically but mentally as well. You find yourself in a battle for perfection even with things that you realize that no one else will ever see. When you are struggling with perfectionism and anxiety your body becomes exhausted. Defining perfectionism What is perfectionism? It is the tendency to need everything to be just right. Everything has a place, and it should always be put back in that place after being used. This sounds easy enough. However, for a house full of children, it may not be that simple and striving for perfectionism puts a strain not only on yourself but on those around you. A person with a high expectation of perfectionism may feel that something isn’t good enough if it isn’t perfect. This could be their home, the office, or even their appearance. Perfectionism is striving for control of something that is out of your control. As a person who struggles with perfectionism, you may feel as though you are always under the microscope. You feel as though everyone is looking at you and judging you based on how perfect you are. The reality is that most people aren’t even paying attention to the details that you think stand out like a sore thumb. God doesn’t want us striving to attain perfection. In a fallen world, we are unable to walk a perfect life. Our human tendencies will always lead us astray. God wants us to know that it’s okay if things are messy. Am I now trying to [...]

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Therapy Groups: Do You Need One?

By |April 25th, 2024|Chemical Dependency, Featured, Group Counseling|

If you’re already in therapy, are therapy groups necessary? You may already have a counselor, whether it’s for everyday life processing or something specific, such as trauma, an anxiety disorder, depression, or addiction. Here we explain what therapy groups are, how to know if one would benefit you, and what to expect. What are therapy groups? Therapy groups help a person heal in a group setting, and they are led by at least one professionally licensed mental health therapist. They can address a specific concern, help people find solace and move forward, and provide a wider perspective than one-on-one therapy alone. A therapy group is designed to be guided by a therapist who may ask questions, pose topics for conversation, and offer tips and teaching as part of the group session. Group sessions generally meet weekly for an hour or so each time. Some groups last for a specific period, such as four to six months, and others are open-ended where you can drop in and out when you need the support and have the time. However, for a group to supplement targeted therapy, attending regularly is best. What kinds of therapy groups are there? There are several types of therapy groups. They can range from dealing with a specific life event - such as grief groups for the loss of a child or divorce care groups for those dealing with the demise of a marriage - to groups that target specific mental health issues. You could be part of a group recovering from disordered eating, an addiction recovery group, or a social anxiety group. Our centers have groups to help you with all kinds of processing. What should I expect from a group? While joining a group can be nerve-wracking, it’s also a terrific way to remember that [...]

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Ascending from the Ashes: Overcoming Past Trauma

By |April 22nd, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Listen to this article God, the Maker of Heaven and Earth is more than we can see and beyond what we can fathom. While we glorify Him for His masterful creation of all we engage with our physical senses, our spiritual nature realizes that there is infinitely more that we haven’t yet encountered. For those of us who have placed faith in His Son, Jesus Christ, for our salvation, we will likely spend all of eternity discovering facets of His holiness, yet never encounter a moment of repetition. He has assured in His Word that there is more for His beloved ones to experience. The Holy Spirit edges us forward to unveiling of what unfolds, beyond what we perceive through natural senses or imagination (1 Corinthians 2:10). We don’t have to be intimidated but rather intrigued by the vastness of what we cannot comprehend. Yet, if we’re more familiar with pain and dysfunctional patterns emerging from personal or family trauma, then the thought of the unknown can be unnerving. What exists beyond our control can trigger fear and frustration. These can bring disruptive flashbacks and has the potential to fracture relationships when our pain and past have more of a stronghold than God’s grip. We can feel like trauma encompasses our identity, appearing to consume our lives in its carnivorous wake, eclipsing our view of the eternal God, who is greater than all of it. However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” – the things God has prepared for those who love him. – 1 Corinthians 2:9, NIV Faith to experience the reality of a healed heart might be an area where we wrestle, as it requires belief and trust beyond [...]

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Important Questions to Ask Your Significant Other

By |April 10th, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Can you ever know too much about the people you care about? In some circumstances, you find out things about loved ones that change how you view them, and you might want to turn the clock back to before you asked and obtained the terrible knowledge. In most cases, though, knowing more about your significant other – even the uncomfortable things – helps you appreciate them more as a person. Why ask questions to your significant other? There are a few good reasons to pursue a deeper understanding of your significant other. Some of these include: It’s good to be and to remain curious about them People change and grow. Also, not everything comes up in conversation or by simply observing them. Being curious about your loved one helps them know you’re still interested in them and are willing to learn more about them. Helps you understand them better You can’t presume that you know everything about someone. Instead of making assumptions, simply ask them about what you want to know. That’s the case whether your relationship is new, or a decade down the line. Helps you avoid miscommunication and increase alignment Asking questions helps you avoid misreading situations and gives you insight into how and person thinks or feels. You can guess how a person is, but asking them allows you to act with knowledge and avoid miscommunication. Helps you make an informed choice Knowledge is power, and when you know more about your significant other, it can help you to make informed choices. In a premarital situation, for instance, it can help you discern if your goals align and if the relationship has a future. Questions you can ask There are a number of questions you can ask your significant other at various stages of your relationship. [...]

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Professional Boundaries in the Workplace: What They Are and Why You Need Them

By |March 15th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Relationship Issues|

Boundaries are physical, mental, and emotional limits that determine how you care for yourself, interact with others, and allow others to treat you. They enable you to stay in control of your life. Professional boundaries in the workplace are especially important when you face the challenging task of trying to balance work obligations with personal time and responsibilities. Establishing professional boundaries in the workplace enables you to maintain a healthy balance between your personal and professional life so that work-related stress does not bleed into your personal life and cause important relationships and family life to suffer. Benefits of setting professional boundaries in the workplace Life-work balance is crucial to your overall well-being. Having healthy professional boundaries at work can increase your job satisfaction, improve performance and productivity, build better working relationships with yourcolleagues, and help prevent emotional exhaustion and burnout by ensuring that your workload is fair and reasonable. Professional boundaries in the workplace also help maintain a safe and supportive work environment by identifying what behaviors are and are not acceptable in the workplace, providing each employee with clear, realistic expectations of what their role is, and fostering honest, open communication to minimize disputes and misunderstandings. Setting professional boundaries for a healthy life-work balance Establish clear work hours Define your working hours and stick to them as much as possible even if you are working from home. Let colleagues, clients, and/or your boss know that you will not be available after hours unless it is an emergency, and set limits on tasks you will accept outside of work hours. Avoid bringing work home and avoid checking e-mails or work-related messages after work hours. Prioritize self-care Taking care of yourself is an important facet of finding a balance between your personal and professional life. It will increase your [...]

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A Christian Counselor’s Guide to the Best Personal Development Books

By |February 27th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Therapists are asked on a routine basis about the best personal development books to help people in their therapy journey. The recommendations are as varied as the counselors are because different books speak to different counselors. Each counselor will have a book that speaks to their heart, especially in the Christian counseling field. There are thousands of books about psychology, self-improvement, self-help, personal development, and every issue you can imagine from ADHD to Zelophobia (the fear of jealousy). While it’s difficult to narrow it down to just a few there is a collection of books that I highly recommend. These books delve deep into specific issues that can help people see what is going on in their lives from an outside perspective. It is meaningful when we connect with a book because we feel as if other people must have gone through the same thing they have, which is why someone wrote a book about it. The first book I recommend as a Christian counselor is of course the Bible. The Bible gives us comfort and peace and a structure to live by. A lot of clients that come to therapy need help finding a structure for their lives, their lives are chaotic, on several different paths at once, etc. Having a set structure for your life can help reduce anxiety, depression, confusion, and other issues. It is living lives that stray from biblical principles that has clients seeking help for their selves, marriages, their children, or even at work. Having no structure in our lives means that anything and everything is allowed and when that happens it just invites chaos. Having a set of standards to guide our lives by is imperative, no matter what the belief system is. Another book I recommend is one of my personal [...]

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How to Set Spiritual Goals: Aligning What You Want with God’s Desires

By |February 22nd, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

We know the Bible verses about God giving us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4), that God has plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11), and that the Lord directs our steps (Proverbs 16:9). But what does that tangibly mean with reference to our spiritual goals? It can be a challenge to weigh what we want with what we think God has for us. We want to live in a way that honors God and puts our faith into practice in our lives. But what this means for us and the choices we make every day can be harder to put into words. What are spiritual goals? A spiritual goal can be stated as simply a goal for your spiritual life. Every January many of us make a list of what we hope to accomplish in the following year. While it might be easy to add “read the Bible this year” or “pray every day” to our list of to-dos, for a spiritual goal to truly change us, it needs to involve more than just rote action. Often when we decide on a spiritual goal, we forget the most important piece: God. When was the last time you asked God what He wanted for you? Instead of telling God what you want out of your spiritual walk this year, ask Him to impress upon your heart what He desires. Maybe it’s to get up earlier and do a regular quiet time. Perhaps it will be volunteering somewhere or getting involved in a new group. Maybe it will be letting something go - an activity, social media, television - to create more space for Him. By letting God tell you what He desires, we are allowing God to speak into how we live our lives. Give God space to speak. We [...]

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What Does it Mean to Age Successfully? Defining What Matters Most in a Society Scared of Getting Older

By |January 24th, 2024|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Our culture is obsessed with getting older. More accurately, we are obsessed with not aging. We are laser-focused on looking younger longer. We deny wrinkles, fight back against loose skin, and refuse to let white hair show. Ageism rears its ugly head in movies, where the leading man is in his fifties and his love interest is twenty years younger. Skincare is a multi-billion-dollar industry. Tips and tricks to stay looking young are prolific on the internet. But the reality is we all age. Every year the clock ticks and our bodies change. We are in a fight against time that we will never win. No matter how many face creams we use, how much we put lotion on our legs, or how much hair dye we put on our heads, we keep getting older. Once we accept that getting older does happen, the next question becomes – what does it mean to age successfully? Successful aging will vary from person to person. It is important to start by asking: “Out of what I can control, what matters most to me?” Identify what matters most when getting older. For some, this will be relationally based. Successful aging means spending time with family and grandkids, meeting friends for lunch, and being active socially. For others, it will be skills based. You want to stay independent for as long as you can. You need to be able to drive, live alone, and maintain a standard of autonomy. Maybe it’s mental health that matters. If you fear dementia, then keeping your mind active will be how you define successful aging. Whatever the barometer, once it is defined the question becomes “What can you do today that will have the greatest impact tomorrow?” The keys to successfully getting older start with what we [...]

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