Long-distance Dating: Overcoming the Challenges

Many people have said, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” But is this true? Can two people truly stay committed in a relationship if they are long-distance dating? To answer this question, we need to understand what it means to be long-distance dating. Long-distance dating is simply a relationship in which two people do not live close enough to see each other more than once or twice a week.

Making any relationship work depends on how willing you are to invest time into the relationship. This is not just something that one person can make work. It will take both parties being intentional about the relationship.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, ESV

Unique challenges of long-distance dating.

Any relationship has challenges, but when it comes to long-distance dating they seem to be more intense. Challenges don’t mean that the relationship is doomed to failure. Challenges cause each person to decide how much they are willing to invest in the relationship. Here are five unique challenges that most couples who are long-distance dating will face.

Local relationships and friends.

For there to be a sense of trust there must be boundaries regarding local friends and other relationships.

Financial impact of travel.

Traveling once a week to see each other can be financially draining. Driving a couple of hours of week may not be as impactful as having to purchase an airline ticket.

The emotional expectations of meetings.

Since you are not seeing each other daily, there may be a higher expectation of the meeting. There needs to be an expectation that will promote quality time together regardless of the amount of time spent together.

Extreme emotions.

The emotions of those involved in long-distance dating can be intense and extreme. These types of emotions can cause disagreements and disappointments, as well as emotionally charged decisions.

Viewing the relationship unrealistically.

In normal relationships, couples see each other every day and they know how each other reacts to everyday situations. When a couple is engaged in long-distance dating, they may expect the relationship to be romantically magical.

Strengthening the emotional connection.

There are several ways to strengthen the emotional connection in long-distance dating. These are five of the more important tips that will help couples as they engage in long-distance dating.

Communication is the most fundamental aspect of any relationship.

When you are long-distance dating, it is extremely important that you keep communication a top priority. Not seeing each other daily makes it hard to connect. Communication must be intentional so that it will remain effective.

Sharing important moments of your day can help keep you emotionally connected.

When you incorporate daily living through video calls you are sharing life with your partner. This will give them a chance to spend time with you even though they aren’t in the room with you.

Reiterating how you feel about each other and how important the relationship is can create a stronger bond.

This will also create a sense of accountability concerning the promises that were made.

Sending thoughtful gifts can boost emotions.

Getting an unexpected gift from your partner will not only boost emotions, but it will give the other person a physical reminder of your commitment to each other.

Virtual dates can be fun.

When travel is not possible try setting up a virtual date to spend time together even though you are apart. A movie night at home or even going to dinner while video chatting can double as a communication strengthener.

Surviving long-distance dating.

Though there are challenges in long-distance dating there are ways to survive them and develop a healthy relationship. Some easy things can be done to help ensure that your long-distance dating survives.

Daily check-in.

Even though you may only get five or ten minutes it helps to make time to just check in and express your feelings.

Engage in common interests.

Even if you are unable to do something together doesn’t mean you cannot enjoy the activity. There are online activities that can be done together even though you are apart.

Make time to meet.

It is important that you intentionally make time to see each other face-to-face. This may be harder when the distance is due to military reasons.

Make plans.

Even though you may not be able to meet weekly, you can make special plans for vacations, holidays, and weekends.

Choose happy.

It’s a good reminder that relationships don’t make you happy. You have to choose happiness and your relationship with God.

Learn more about successful long-distance dating.

Long-distance dating doesn’t have to be complicated just because it’s hard. This means that each person must be willing to invest time and be intentional about the relationship. There are ways to incorporate Christian counseling if you and your partner want to gain faith-based insight on how to work as a long-distance couple.

If you think you would like more information about online counseling for long-distance dating, please reach out to a Christian counselor near you.