7 Tips for Anger Management

Anger can get the best of us, ruining relationships and jeopardizing careers. An angry outburst may only last seconds, but the consequences can last a lifetime if you don’t employ anger management. The Bible states, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” (Ephesians 4:26, NIV)

Anger is a normal emotion, but like any other emotion can be righteous or sinful, depending on many circumstances. Uncontrolled anger, for example, can hurt other people. Your expression of anger can include words and actions you can never take back. You must learn how to control your anger with tips for anger management.

7 Tips for Anger Management

To get control of anger, be willing to practice tips for anger management. These strategies will help you to slow down and process what is happening instead of reacting on impulse. You can write the list of tips on an index card or in the notes section of your phone as a reminder.

Don’t react.

When you are in the heat of the moment, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you can do this. You may be dealing with a person who wants you to react. You take away their power when you do not respond to their behavior. This does not mean that you will not address the situation in the future, but you need time to process what is happening and this person’s motivation.

Is this person pushing blame onto you, or do you play a role? Be honest with yourself. Are you responsible for the confrontation? If it is a scenario where you are in a traffic jam, and someone honks and yells at you, try to remember that they are in the same frustrating place that you are – they have someplace to be, and traffic is holding them up. When you can see why someone acts the way they do, it can help you decide how to respond.

Pause to think.

Often, we feel rushed to respond to someone during a confrontation. This confrontation may be in person, over text or messaging, or through email. But why do you need to react at that moment? You may need more information to make an informed decision or time to process what you have learned to form an opinion or offer solutions.

We also get defensive and take comments personally when someone criticizes us. If it is at work, can you hesitate long enough to remember that it is probably just business? Your supervisor is perhaps dealing with their frustration and issues. Can you respond calmly and objectively?

Try counting to ten before responding. This gives you a few moments to assess the situation. This might be a minor inconvenience and not something to get angry over. Are you more stressed than angry? When you are stressed, tired, or hungry, it can lead to highly emotional states, including anger.

Walk away if needed.

Sometimes you need to pause a little longer and take a walk. Give yourself a time out, a break away from the situation. Find a room, or even better, go outside and walk. The fresh air and time away from the person and situation can give you clarity.

If you are at work and cannot leave the building, consider slipping into the restroom or break room away from others. Change your environment to change your perception. It is amazing how changing our space can make us see things differently.

When angry, jump in and declutter your home, office, or even just a cabinet. The act of throwing out things we no longer need or donating items and clearing space and surfaces in our environment gives our emotions a break while our minds are working things out. It also gives you time to rehearse how you will respond.

Accept what you cannot change.

Discontentment and discouragement stem from not accepting what you cannot change. Does the past still make you angry? You probably have every right to be mad about an event or betrayal from the past. But is that past hurt helping you now? Is the ongoing anger and bitterness making life more joyful for you in the present?

Sometimes we need to admit that although something horrible may have happened, we cannot change it and must adapt and move forward. When you are stuck on past mistakes and regrets, you shortchange the future and keep anger simmering in your heart. Letting that anger go may mean forgiving someone.

Forgiveness can happen without you approaching someone from an abusive relationship. Use that forgiveness to heal your own heart, but don’t place your hand back in the fire. Accept what is and move forward. Ask God for supernatural peace in your heart and mind.

You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it. – John 14:14, NIV

Be solution oriented.

Blind anger keeps you from seeing past the problems. You might feel trapped, stuck, and cornered by a situation or a person. Your first impulse is to lash out and complain. Instead of focusing on the problems, focus on finding a solution. What can you do to make it better?

Answering that question might mean making a phone call and asking questions. It could mean researching how to do something on your own or writing down a plan to attack the problem. For example, what will you do if you learn you have a leak in your roof, but funds are tight? Do you get angry and throw things since you already have a hole in the roof? Do you blame someone else for not checking the roof earlier?

Or do you research how to repair small leaks on a tight budget? You could call a friend and ask for advice. You might even be able to find an organization in your community that does minor repair work for a lower cost.

Don’t focus on the problems because then those problems will grow. Instead, become a problem solver.

Try deep breathing exercises.

You may not believe that meditation is practical or know you cannot sit still for one minute, let alone five, but you can practice deep breathing exercises without meditation. Better yet, sit down and take a few deep breaths, filling your lungs, then exhaling through your mouth. Use this time as a silent prayer, asking God to calm your spirit and mind and to help you to think clearly about the situation.

Remind yourself that God is with you and is working everything out according to His purpose. Mentally scan your body, relaxing each body part from your head to your toes. We need this time to bring life-giving oxygen into the body as we tend to breathe rapidly when angry or upset. Practice deep breathing, and it will get easier over time.

Burn off anger.

Physical exertion is a great way to contribute to anger management. Do you want to hit something after the day you had? How about taking a boxing class, following a kickboxing video, or going a few rounds of shadowboxing? You could start the day with physical exercises like lifting weights and then end it with a challenging workout or activity.

Breaking a sweat releases endorphins that leave you feeling less stressed and tense. With more oxygen pumping through your body, you can think clearly and may realize that whatever problem you are facing has a solution.

What activity would you like to try to burn off your emotions? You want an activity that is challenging but doable. Lift heavier weights, run a few minutes farther, try box jumps, or walk faster. Whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better and keep your emotions even.

Seeking help

Is your anger controlling you or are you controlling it? Some people have a harder time with this emotion or do not know how to manage their anger because their childhood role models didn’t know how to resolve conflict.

Call our office today or complete the contact form to schedule a session with a counselor specializing in tips for anger management, conflict resolution, and communication skills.